Keeping the boss happy keeps you in your job. Not that complicated really is it? But bosses are weird people – I am a boss and I have worked for a few. They are! And despite what you think, its true – (most) bosses are human and flawed and messed up just like everyone else. No matter how professional and controlled they appear – underneath they hurt or glow at the same things that normal people do.
The fact that they appear all cool and calm and professional on the outside does not, IN ANY WAY, mean that they have not made a little tick or a big cross in their little memory book against your name when you screw up with one of these two things. They may be all calm at work but in their secret angry head at 2:00 am they rage about what you have done or not done – or moan to their unlucky partners about it.
Plus these two things are probably not in your official job description and they may never have been discussed with you. Ever.
Ok, so depending on your boss, I may have also, um, lied (a little) about the “easy” bit – but… If you do manage to identify and do these two things you will make your life a lot easier and help to make sure that when you come to leave that job it’s NOT your boss’s decision – it’s yours.
Now, I am not talking about the obvious stuff – performing at least as well as your peers, communicating upwards well, being well dressed and punctual or working late or smiling – unless you are spectacular at something else these are givens. Let’s not even discuss personal hygiene, not shaving etc!
The Fetish – the first thing to do keep your boss happy:
Do the thing they really want you to do. The thing they have a fetish about. This could be bringing in a bit of gossip every day, or getting them into such and such a newspaper once a month or giving them some extra analysis or research work on their competitors, or putting some info on their favourite sport or team on their desk.
The Phobia – the second thing to do to keep your boss happy
DO NOT do the thing that really winds them up. For me that includes typos and not producing work without my chasing for it. This could be private calls at work, Facebook on the work computer, intruding into their personal space, over familiarity or whatever. The list is literally as long as you can think – they are people.
Unfair? Unreasonable? Yup.
Of course, some of these things may well be unreasonable, subjective or even against employment law or “fair rules”. That’s why I called them fetishes and phobias and why I said they are seldom discussed and almost never included in a job description.
N.B. I am not saying this situation or phenomena is right or perfect – this blog and much of what I do is helping people to get and keep their jobs and get promoted. Not making the job world perfect.
So how do you work out whether your boss has these? Or what they are? This is particularly hard in a very professional corporate environment where bosses are trained to be appear calm and restrained.
How about something really old-fashioned – you could ask him or her. I wouldn’t suggest using the words I have used but most bosses would be thoughtful and pleased to be asked:
“Apart from my job description – what is the 1 other thing that I could do that would make me extra useful to you?”
“Apart from the obvious, what is the one thing that really annoys/pisses you off that I should make extra sure not to do?”
I have someone working for me at the moment who keeps on asking if he can do more and he does this with a thoughtfulness and an understanding of me and my business that he becomes more and more useful and valuable. I didn’t tell him this – he just worked it out. I have done the other thing though and preemptively told him the two things that really get up my nose.
Of course – if you are reading this and you are a boss – why not tell your staff about your fetishes and phobias (the work ones only please!!! – there are laws against that!). That sort of clarity could just make their lives and yours more productive and less stressful and reduce any 2:00 am rages you may have.